My room smells like vodka and shame
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize