My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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