He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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