Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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