This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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