what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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