Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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