He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
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My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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