its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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