Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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