i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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