We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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