Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize