We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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