Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
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You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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