I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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