Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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