and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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