question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
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