we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize