well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I can text with my tongue
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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