im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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