im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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