She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize