the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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