NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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