My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize