I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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