I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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