ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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