if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize