i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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