He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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