So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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