My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
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When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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