some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize