I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
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Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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