why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
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Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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