Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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