farters have to be the big spoon...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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