i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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