I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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