Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize