Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I am available for nakedness
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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