I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize