Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
handjob tips. give me some.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize