I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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