would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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