no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize