big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
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You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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